


Eviternal Love

by Shozi_Sakurai



Series: Eviternal Love [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied Mpreg, Kid Fic, M/M, Sick Character, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shozi_Sakurai/pseuds/Shozi_Sakurai
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho, Ninomiya Kazunari/Ohno Satoshi
Series: Eviternal Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088024
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted in my LJ. Subsequent series to follow.

**Chapter 1**

Matsumoto Jun, 31, architect in Ohno Group Company is running late again to his office. “Damn it!” he curses while running in the rain, shielding himself from the furious storm using his briefcase. “It’ll get wet!”

“Jun-kun!” a car stops in front of him on the zebra crossing and the driver rolls down the window on the passenger seat. “Get in!” the driver instructed, and Jun didn’t think twice, immediately hops on the car and they drive away to the office.

“I think I wet the presentation paper,” Jun says in panic to the driver – his boss, Ohno Satoshi while wiping the briefcase with his blazer’s sleeve.

“Don’t worry, I have the copy. You gave me the other day, remember?” Ohno says calmly, making Jun sighs in relief.

“Get change when we arrive at the office. I have extra dress shirt and suit in the trunk.”

“Okay, Ohno-san, thank you so much.”

“Not a problem. I hope you are prepared enough for today’s presentation?”

“Except for my already wet outfit today I think I can manage the presentation smoothly.”

“Good. That’s what I like about you.” Ohno throws a teasing glance through the rear-view mirror at his employee.

Jun giggles at his boss’s teasing, not at all care about it instead he rests his head comfortably at the back seat, enjoying the fresh scent of his boss’ car with closed eyes. He tries to calm himself from his earlier panic and he succeeds just that.

***

“It’s a splendid presentation” was what his boss told him while patting his back proudly. Ohno gave a very satisfied smile to Jun, feeling so proud and satisfy already even though they haven’t yet receives the final result of the presentation.

“We haven’t yet knowing the result I think it’s not wise to be relief now, Sir.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you know I never really care about results. As long as you guys have done your utmost effort, that’s good enough for me. Good results always come with the greatest effort.”

And that reminds Jun of why he really loves working with this easy-going man.

That night Jun went out drinking with his colleagues at work, half celebrating the job-well done. Trust him to say not to get too excited but he would never refuse good opportunity of spending quality time with his silly friends.

“Where do you put Ken tonight, Jun?” Shun asks.

“A gaming night session with his favorite uncle Nino.”

“Ahh.. will he spend the night there?”

“No. I’ll pick him up later.”

“Seriously, don’t get drunk in front of that boy.” Shun warns half-heartedly. He who also has two small children of course would know what to do and do not in front of 5-year old kids.

“What are you talking about? This is not first time Jun joins us drinking after he has Ken. He knows what he is doing.” Toma slurs annoyedly at Shun, defending Jun’s action.

Jun smirks at his friends, feeling proud that he has such good friends by his side, who has never stop showing their supports when Jun has his roller-coaster mood about his life.

Matsumoto Ken is his 5-year old son, back when he was with _that guy_ in his teenage years. He wouldn’t say that Ken was an accident, no, he would give his live to protect that boy no matter what may come. Even though sometimes, it hurts so much to look at the boy, who would remind him to his father, but no, Ken was his savior. When he thought that he could give up on that boy however, Ken is the prove of Sho’s existence in his life. Even after that guy disappears not so mysteriously leaving Jun at his wits end, Jun is actually still waiting for him, hoping that one day, he will come back to him again.

Sometimes he feels like a fool, waiting for something uncertain, but everytime he decided to move on, something was holding him back. He doesn’t understand nor know what and why, but everytime he looks at his son’s face, there is this hope in him that Sho would return and meet his son eye to eye one day. He is still clinging to that thin hope, but his friends finally accepted his resolution and stops nagging him about finding a partner. No doubt, Jun has surrendered his heart to a certain Sakurai Sho long ago when he was still just a scrawny teen.

Jun didn’t stay long at the bar, just like the other nights, not wishing to leave Ken too long. He rarely has time to spend with Ken with his working office hours at the office, also sometimes he needs to be at the office during weekend. He is lucky that Ken never complains about his work, Jun would like to think that Ken understood his circumstances – being a single parent while raising a son is not easy. Jun tries to be fair with Ken though, every opportunity he gets to spend his time with his son would never go to waste. And his boss also understands, Ninomiya Kazunari aka his boss lover is Jun’s best friend. That’s how he got to keep his job at the company with Nino’s help. He owes those two a lot, he will do his best to assist them in anything that he could.

***

“Daddy!!” Ken squealed happily once he sees Jun at the door.

“Hi, sweetie. Have you been a good boy?” Jun knelt to stand equally as Ken, patting his head softly.

“I have!” Ken admits proudly.

“A very good boy indeed.” Ninomiya interrupted, smiling at the boy in Jun’s arms who is giggling happily.

Jun sees Ohno walking towards them before standing next to Nino and sneak his arm around Nino’s middle. He scoops Ken into his arms to carry him. “Thanks, Neen, Ohno-san. I’ll bring him back now.”

“Careful on your way back. And don’t be late tomorrow.” Ohno reminds casually.

Jun smiles sheepishly. “Yes, noted. Good night you two.”

“Will have a very good night indeed, as long as that little rascal not around to disturb us.” Nino replies playfully, throwing a dirty look at Ken who is suspiciously trying to hide his laugh in Jun’s neck.

Jun raises an eyebrow at the remark, not questioning directly but he narrows his eyes towards Nino.

“Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t do anything inappropriate to that boy, no need to be too wary Jun-kun.”

“Kazu.” Ohno calls sternly.

“Should’ve known not to leave my son too long with you.” Jun sighs.

“I won the game today, Uncle Nino promised to treat me ice-cream at the new ice-cream parlour!”

Jun laughs while Nino heaves a defeated sigh. “No wonder you are unhappy.” Jun commented.

Ohno kisses Nino’s temple while chuckling, not at all defending his lover against Ken. Well, adults should show good examples towards kids. Promise means promise, not to be break for whatever reason.

Jun excused themselves for the night. He hails a taxi and ride back home with Ken.

##

“Ne, Oh-chan.”

“Un?”

“Don’t you think Jun should get somebody now? Until when is he going to wait for that idiot?” Nino asked, somehow annoyed.

He got a kiss as a reply before they proceed to the bedroom. “Jun is still in love with that guy, isn’t he? Let him be, Kazu.” Ohno tries to reason with his lover.

“He shouldn’t. It’s been years. Isn’t he just wasting his time?” Nino still expressing his dissatisfaction.

“Kazu, let’s not meddle with his business okay? Jun is an adult, he knows what he is doing. We don’t have to always tell him what he should or shouldn’t do.”

“Fine, fine. I’m just worry, you know?” Nino answered sulkily.

“I know. You are a good friend. Jun knows that you are just concern. But let him decide what’s best for him and as for us, let just be here for him whenever he needs us, okay?”

Nino nods obediently at Satoshi’s answer. It’s never easy to argue with him. No wonder he is a wonderful boss that everyone wants to work hard for. He is proud with his lover. “I love you, you know?” Nino confess suddenly. 

“I know. And I love you too, Kazu.” Satoshi kisses his boyfriend before both drop themselves on the bed, finding rest for the night.

##

Jun carries Ken into the house as Ken dozes off midway during the drive. Jun drops Ken in the boy’s bedroom, changing his t-shirt into his pyjama when the boy suddenly wakes up.

“Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

Ken sits up from the bed. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” Ken asked, yawning widely after that, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

“Why?”

“Hmm.. I want a cuddle.” Ken half-whine.

Jun laughs lightly at the answer. He pulls Ken into his arms while cooing. “So cute my boy..” he drops a kiss at Ken’s temple. “You can, but daddy wants to take a shower first, okay?”

“Okay, daddy.”

“Have you brushed your teeth?”

“No.” Ken shakes his head lightly.

“Okay, go brush your teeth first then go to my room. You can sleep first if daddy hasn’t finish, alright?”

“Hai!”

Jun kisses Ken before he let the boy walk out to the bathroom. Jun takes Ken’s squirrel plush and brings it to his room, knowing that Ken wouldn’t sleep well without it. When he finished showering, he sees Ken already sleep snuggling the toy plush on his bed. He walks to the bed and sit on the edge. Jun caresses Ken’s head softly, enjoying the silky feeling of Ken’s hair. His mind wanders to Ken’s father. He touches the cold silver around his neck.

“ _What are you doing now, Sho? Where are you?_ ”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_“Please Sho, only you can help us!”_

_“Why me?! She is your daughter! Can’t you at least ONCE prioritise your children before everything else?!”_

_“Let’s break up.”_

_“What?! Why?!”_

_“Sorry, Jun. I have someone else more important to take care of. I’ll let you go.”_

_“What the hell do you mean by that?! You don’t just tell me to break up and walk away! Sho! Sho!!”_

Sho jerks up awake from the sleep, body shaking. This is not the first time he experienced that dream. It has been a few nights, the dreams keep repeating, disturbing his sleep. The dream is actually a memory of his before he left Japan, had caused the break-up of him with his love, also had left a scar in his heart. The scar that would never heal no matter how much time passed, Sho was sure he would live with the scar until the end of his life. Not at least until he can see his ex-lover once again, to hold him in his arms again, and claim him as his for the rest of their lives.

Sho blinks his eyes a few times to adjust to the darkness in his room. He clutches his hand tightly to the sheet beneath him to ground himself. “ _Jun,_ ” his fingers wander to the necklace resting coldly at his neck, the one that he bought with Jun together on their 5th anniversary. “I miss you.”

***

“Sho-chan?” Aiba Masaki, his secretary/best of the best friends knocks on his bedroom’s door.

“Yes, Aiba-chan?” Sho half-shout to make his voice heard by the man standing behind the door. He is trying to zip-close the luggage, with a little struggle as he tried to fit his last pieces of stuffs into the bag. He has done his packing, only three bags with him to fly with, the others he already shipped it back to Japan. Sho heard the door opening.

“Are you finished?” Aiba asked, inviting himself into the room.

“Yup! All done.” Sho smiles satisfied.

“Come downstairs. I made breakfast.” 

“Really? As expected of my best secretary. What did you prepare?”

“Toast.” Aiba answers shortly.

“That’s all?”

“And coffee.”

“And?”

“Come downstairs. I’m not your maid, mind you.” Aiba answers, rolling his eyes at Sho.

Sho laughs out loud, feeling content to have annoyed his friend so early in the morning.

“Come, gluton,” Aiba pulls Sho’s hand out of the room.

“Hey!” Sho stared at Aiba annoyed. _Nobody_ makes fun of his eating habit. _No one_. Except _that_ one person. Sho’s mood change almost abruptly thinking of Jun again but he covers it well. He meant it not to show his uneasy feeling to Aiba this morning that’s why he tried to mess with that guy when he asked about the food Aiba prepared. Also, the dream he had is still bothering him.

“Don’t worry, you’ll stay as my favourite squirrel forever.” Aiba tried to kiss Sho teasingly at his cheek but Sho managed to push him away before that. Aiba nearly trip, lucky he managed to grip on the stairs railing and avoided from falling down.

“What? Sho-chan, are you trying to kill me?!” Aiba stares horrifiedly downstairs. Damn, if he had fallen down, that’s high.

“I didn’t. You asked for it.” Sho answers innocently and continue to walk down the stairs.

Once he reaches at the kitchen, he gapes in surprise. “Masaki! You are the best!” He screams and pulls his friend to a crushing hug. There’s a beautifully decorated pancakes on the table, a juice and coffee – he can choose what he would like to drink, toast and sandwich.

“I know I am,” Aiba wipes the non-existent sweat at his forehead and smirks at Sho. “Just don’t eat all by yourself. I prepare this for us two, and I don’t want you to get stomach ache in the flight and get too chubby once we arrive in Japan.”

Sho pouts at Aiba’s remarks but takes his seat nonetheless. He should enjoy this while he can for he knows that he would not have such luxuries once he is back in Japan.

They eat in a silent company, Sho’s praising of Aiba’s food could be heard here and there and they eat together to their heart’s content. Sho loves homemade food. He can’t stop his silly grins everytime he takes a bite of the food. ‘I’ll definitely miss this.’

Once they are done, they move to bring their bags downstairs. The taxi Aiba booked the other day already waiting outside the house, the driver helps them to put their luggages to the car’s trunk and drive them to the airport.

***

“Ne, Aiba-chan,” Sho finally voices out after 2 hours of quietness in the flight.

“Hmm?” Aiba stops his reading and look at Sho.

“Do you think I would be able to see him again once I’m there?”  
  


Aiba stares long at his friend. Sho is looking outside the window and he looks so.. crushed. “Of course you will.” He answers with a smile, trying to be convincing.

“What if he is no longer staying in Japan?”

“You will find him again. No matter what happen, nothing will block you from seeing him again. You still love him, don’t you?”

“I do. But I don’t know him.”

“It’s okay, Sho-chan. Have faith in him, okay? Have faith in both of you. I’m sure you both will definitely find each other again.”

“How can you be so sure?” Sho asks, finally looking at Aiba with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Sho-chan..” Aiba sighs before he pulls his friend into a hug. Sho wouldn’t let anyone see him like this but with Aiba, it’s different. Aiba rubs Sho’s back up and down, encouraging him to let go. “You can cry all you want, I won’t let you fall. I’m here, Sho-chan.” Aiba says soothingly. He knows Sho is broken inside. No matter how tough he acts to appear outside, only he could see how much Sho is suffering. Sho was forced to leave his love behind when his parents ask him to take care of his sister, Sho was strong because he needs to, to keep Mai strong too but now he has lost the cause to be strong with Mai’s death, and he can’t just return to his old life with Jun, he doesn’t even know anything about Jun anymore after his take-off, hadn’t heard anything from the man ever since, and he was expected to return to Japan to assist his father in the company. Just how unfair they could be? Not bothering about their children’s welfare and acts like they are the most important person in the world. Aiba wouldn’t say that the Sakurai’s are the selfish type but the way they treated their children sometimes are so unfair. So unfair even to anyone. But he respects Sho. Even though he grew up in such kind of environment, Sho never disrespect his parents, always be the obedient son and acts to their wishes. Sometimes he hopes that Sho would at least act even a bit more rebellious, so that he can have his happiness too. But no, Sho is kind-hearted like that. He always put his family on the top of the list no matter how sick that can be to him. And of course he would never refuse anything if it concerns his sister. But now even his sister is gone, to what else should Sho hold himself onto?

Sho is not sobbing but he is clearly crying. Aiba keeps soothing Sho with kind words, saying how strong he is to be able to get here, where he is now despite everything that had happened. After some time Sho calms down, he pulls away from the hug. He asks Sho to sleep and get some rest, try to not think of what awaits him in Japan. He looks Sho closes his eyes but knowing Sho, he knows that Sho will definitely tries to fight sleep. Sho’s frown making his suspicious clearer. At last he let Sho wondering with his own thoughts while he continues his reading. After sometime he falls asleep too, only waking up when the stewardess shakes him lightly to tell him that they are landing in a few minutes. He looks at Sho who also seems like just wake up from sleep. He smiles slightly. He hopes Sho will be okay when he meets his parents again. A wishful thought really, but it’s not wrong to wish for something good.

***

Sho doesn’t go straight to his parents’ house instead, he drops his bags in the house and follows Aiba to his apartment. He feels not ready just yet to see his parents. In addition, it’s been a while since he last time saw them, it feels weird even just the idea of living with his parents again. He thought to buy an apartment in advance while he was in Germany so he has his own place to stay when he is in Japan but Aiba opposed the idea. Since he doesn’t spend his time much in Japan, it would be a waste to buy a house without letting anyone staying in it. But now that he is permanently back, he is thinking again the idea of having his own place. A place where he can spend his time with his beloved preferably. But before that, he should settle down with his new working environment. New workmates and subordinates, some of them already know him, they have met in several occasions but mostly, especially the staffs in each departments must have never saw him. And _that_ too, he would have to see his father in the office, (obviously). But he doesn’t worry about that now. They are mostly acting as a professional when it comes to work, it’s easier to talk to his Mr. Sakurai as a boss than as a father. That’s just too awkward for him, he can’t even think about it.

He drops his laptop bag on the sofa in the living room and sits beside it tiredly. ‘Damn, what a long flight.’ Aiba has disappears into his room and he doesn’t know if that guy would come out again. He must equally tired like him. He doesn’t need to worry though, as Aiba-chan walks towards him later and sits in the single sofa next to him.

“You can use the other room upstairs. But the bathroom is outside, just next to the room. If that’s okay with you?”

“Masaki, I’m invading your place I don’t have right to complain about anything, right?”

Aiba smacks Sho’s head with the cushion making the man snarls.

“What was that for?!” Sho asks, annoyed.

“What invading? It’s not like you never stays here before.” Aiba pouts at Sho.

“I just don’t want to trouble anyone, okay?”

“I know Sho-chan. Ahh.. you’re always acting like this. I don’t like that you know?”

“Acting like what?”

“Acting like we are strangers! We’ve known each other like what? Since kindergarten?”

“I only met you after I enter university. We happened to be housemates, don’t be so dramatic.” Sho rolls his eyes at his friend. ‘Kindergarten my ass’.

“Okay, but certainly we are friends. Best of best friends, didn’t you said that? So, no, you never trouble me and you can never ever trouble me. You helped me so you can say that I’m returning the favour.”

“Okay, Masa. I’m tired and I want to sleep. Don’t you too?”

“I am. Do you need help to put your things in the room?”

“No need. I can manage this, just a backpack not the whole bags I put in the flight just now.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t bother you until tomorrow morning. Do you mind if we buy breakfast outside for tomorrow?”

“I’ve been living with take-outs half of my life why that should bother me now?”

“Okay, Sho-chan, good night.”

“Good night, Aiba-chan.”

They retreat to their respective rooms to get the deserved rest. Sho didn’t have a very good sleep though, the bed feels foreign and he still worries about meeting his father in the office tomorrow. What would be his reaction after not seeing him for 3 years? What would his mother think about him? And there was his younger brother too. Sho releases a heavy sigh before closing his eyes, forcing himself to sleep and forget about everything just for that night. And sleep he gets until morning.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my readers. Since this is a repost of the story I wrote 2 years ago and since then I haven't continued, perhaps I can ask your help to give me ideas how do you want me to continue? I really want to finish this story but me and my beta has been so caught up with works so we kinda abandoned this thing. 
> 
> Give us few prompts or any scene that you want to read so that maybe I can squeeze in the drabble series if I can't include in the main story. I just need something to fight this writer's block problem of mine. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your helps! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Sho was nervous about the meeting that would take place in the office today. However, his secretary was doing a very good job in introducing him to the staffs and his meeting with his father also went well much to his surprise. He never thought that his father has changed that much. He is very welcoming of his return and even said that he should come back to the house. His mother is missing too much already. Sho didn’t agree right away, he still need some time to sort out his thought and feelings but he did promise to visit them later. Even just that, his father present him the brightest smile that he swears he never saw before. ‘What’s changed?’ he thought.

When he finally retreats to his designed office, he felt lighter than he had thought the night before. He thinks that it’s not that bad to have return to Japan if this is current situation of the company that he needs to lead on from now. He knows he doesn’t have choice but to do his best for this place and for everyone working with him now.

Once he takes his sit, he puts out a frame of Jun and him and put it on his table. He thinks that that way, he will never forgets his feeling towards the younger man and his wish to see him again will never die. Not that he can do either of that though, as his feeling is still there and alive, but he hopes that even just by looking at his picture would ease his my mind and heart, and he keeps praying for the happiness of Jun. If Jun has already found someone to replace him, he would pray for their happiness together, and hopes that he could amend his broken heart. But now, he needs to focus the task in hand which to train himself to be the future leader of Sakurai Holdings.

Just when he starts to boot his laptop, somebody knocks on his door.

“Come in,”

An unexpected person steps into the room. “Sho-kun,” his father greets.

“Hi, father.” Sho smiles stiffly. Even though his meeting with the older just now went great, he is still awkward when around him just the two of them.

His father has a file in hand which he shows to Sho and Sho gestures him to sit on the chair opposite him.

“I have a new project in discussion and would like you to take over when it’s finalized.” Sakurai-san starts. He hands Sho the file which Sho takes with a small frown in his face. “Nothing big though, but I think it would be a waste if we don’t take it. The profit is promising.”

Sho looks at the file and reads the documents in brief. Not big indeed, but yeah, the place is strategic and sure can make a profit. The place is developing. People will flock down if there are places to accommodate their stay even for a night. “Which architecture company are you working with?”

“The Ohno Group.” Sakurai-san noticed the frame on the desk for the first time and at the same time Sho raises his head to look at his father. He noticed where his father is staring but both didn’t say anything. “I will continue the discussion with Ohno-san and if there are any updates that you should know I will tell you immediately.” Sakurai-san continues.

Sho nods his head and Sakurai-san stands up to leave. “Thank you, Sho. And again, welcome back. Let’s see each other at home.” Sakurai –san pulls out his hand to shake with Sho with Sho takes easily. He can work this out. They can do this together. He makes himself believe that and walks Sakurai-san out of his office. When he sits back he stares at Jun’s photo. “My father didn’t comment anything about you. Do you think he still remembers? Will he still bless us to be together?”

***Flashbacks***

_“Sho-kun!” Jun shouts happily at his senior, waving a test paper in his hand. “I got 80 points in my Maths test!”_

_“Really?! That’s great, Macchan!” Sho catches Jun who jumps into his arms excitedly. “See? Didn’t I tell you that you can do it if you give it your all?”_

_“Yep! Thank you so much, Sho-kun! I demand my present now!” Jun can’t stop squealing in excitement._

_Sho kisses Jun’s cheek immediately. “There, your present.”_

_Jun blushes but his eyes light up in happiness. “I want more.” He demands._

_“Close your eyes.”_

_Jun follows the instruction and almost immediately he feels a pair of lips on his own. But before he managed to return the kiss, the lips are gone making him opens his eyes and pouts. “That’s too quick.”_

_“We are outside. Don’t want to attract too much attention, aren’t we?” Sho asks, caressing Jun’s cheek softly with his knuckles._

_Jun rubs his cheek dreamily against the hand, smiling at Sho. “You’ll give me a better one when we are at home?”_

_“Yes, a proper one for my special kouhai.”_

_“I’m only a kouhai?” Jun pouts again._

_“Hmmm…” Sho made a thinking gesture trying to tease the teen in front of him._

_Jun pouts more making Sho giggles. He kisses Jun’s nose before clarifying to Jun. “Of course you are a kouhai, but my very, very special kouhai that I wish to call him my boyfriend.” Sho smirks blatantly when he sees Jun’s ears turning red at the tips. And Jun looks down to hide his blushing cheeks too. “You are so easy to be flattered, Jun,” Sho comments._

_“Only when it comes from you.” Jun looks at Sho’s eyes daringly. He doesn’t mind as long as it is Sho._

_Sho smiles again at Jun, before taking Jun’s hand and pull him out to the street. They walk hand in hand, each time the hold becomes stronger, they squeeze each other’s hand comfortingly._

_“Do you want to go straight home or do you want to eat first?” Sho asks during their way._

_“I follow you.”_

_“You_ always _follow me. But today is your special day so let me follow you?”_

_Jun blushes again at the remark. Man, he is really weak against Sho. “Let’s go straight home? I’ll cook something special for us.”_

_“You sound like a good housewife you know?” Sho chuckles again._

_Jun stops abruptly, feeling bothered with Sho’s question. He is afraid if he is being too clingy to Sho and he is bothering Sho like that. “Can’t I?” he asks, voice sounding far._

_Sho stops too, looking at Jun who is standing slightly behind him. Jun has lowered his head, looking hurt. Sho turns to stand in front of Jun. He takes Jun’s other hand, “_ my _housewife?” he asks in hushed tone, very close to Jun’s face._

_Jun nods, still not looking up._

_Sho cups Jun’s chin and makes Jun look at him. He kisses Jun’s lips once. “I would very much love that, my dear.”_

_A smile creeping up Jun’s lips and his eyes light up again. Jun nods confidently this time, his fear disappears when Sho looks at him with eyes full of love. They continue their walks to Jun’s house, stopping at the convenient store to grab some items for Jun’s cooking._

_“Is uncle and auntie at home?” Jun asks while they head to Sho’s house._

_“Nope. Work. Not going to be back until tonight.”_

_“Oh. Mai and Shu?”_

_“Mai is with my grandparents. They came the other day and offered to bring Mai to hometown. She said fresh air there could help to improve her health. Shu is still in school. He has rugby practice today. Won’t be at home until this evening.”_

_“So you’re alone at home?”_

_“Pretty much yes.”_

_“And if I don’t come with you now you will starve yourself to death?”_

_Sho stops walking and turns to face Jun. “Didn’t think so. Maybe I’ll just kidnap you from the facility and have you as my lunch and dinner instead.” Sho smirks evilly._

_“Like you will, Mr. Nerd.” Jun snorts, not believing Sho at all. He knows Sho won’t do anything inappropriate with him until he comes to the age._

_Sho laughs at Jun’s retorts and continues walking. “I’m happy that you’re coming though. Would’ve let myself die of boredom without your company.”_

_“Uncle and Auntie really don’t mind leaving us two alone? They know who we are to each other.” Jun asks his doubts._

_“Matsumoto-kun, if I dare to lay a finger on you I will be the one to face the death instead of you. I’m still young and I love my life. AND, I still want to spend my time with you looooongerrrr. So my dear, don’t worry about them, okay? Do you still want your present or not? The longer we take to get there, the longer you need to wait for your present.”_

_“Okay, okay. I get it. Thank you, Sho-kun.” Jun leaves a playful kiss on Sho’s cheek and runs towards the house. He lets Sho chase him, laughing when he sees Sho struggling to catch to him with all the groceries in his hands. He cannot enter the house though as the keys are with Sho. He waits for Sho at the gate and helps Sho to open the gate and the door and they enter together._

_Once they are inside, Jun hurries to Sho’s bedroom and change his clothes while Sho puts the groceries in the kitchen. Jun starts to prepare the ingredients while Sho takes his shower. Definitely like a domestic family that both of them imagine._

_***_

Sho lets himself linger around the memory. Once he feels it’s enough for the day, he caresses the picture imagining it as Jun’s face before sitting straight and continues his work. He takes a deep calming breath before starting his tasks in hand. He needs to prepare both his mind and body to face the long day ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

“Daddy!!” Ken runs towards Jun once he spotted him at the gate.

“Hello, my boy.” Jun greeted, kneeling down and pulls Ken into his hug. “How are you doing today?” Jun asks after he leaves his greeting kiss on Ken’s cheek.

“We learn how to fold paper crane!”

“Really? You can show it to daddy later. Let’s go home.” Jun grins happily at his son.

Jun bids Ken’s teacher goodbye before they walk home together.

“Jya.. Ken, what do you want for dinner?”

“Hmmm.. nothing in particular. Ah, Daddy, I want clam! And shellfish!” Ken says enthusiastically.

Jun stops walking. _Clam and shellfish_. Damn.

Jun resumes walking when Ken looks at him confusedly. “Clam and shellfish, okay. So, seafood spaghetti tonight? Would you like that?”

“Of course! Daddy’s cooking is the best!” Ken jumps around Jun excitedly while they both walk to the supermarket. However Jun can’t get rid the memory of a certain someone in his head. He wonders why is it that Sho invades his mind so frequently lately. Ken’s “Daddy’s cooking is the best!” reminds him of Sho’s _“Your cooking is the best, Jun!”_ while the man devours the food like he hasn’t eaten for a week. The phrase keeps repeating in his head while he does the grocery shopping. He can’t help wondering a question to Sho in his mind, ‘Are you eating properly, Sho?’

***

“Daddy..”

“Hmm?”

“May I ask something?”

Jun is smoothing Ken’s hair while the boy is folding his paper crane on the low table. They’ve just had their dinner and now lazing around in the living room.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you miss Papa?”

Jun stops his movement and looks at Ken who is now staring at him curiously. “I do,” he answered, eyes holding on Ken’s firmly.

“Doesn’t Papa miss us?” Ken asked in low voice, eyes averting from Jun’s. He looks sad.

Jun resumes his little task before pulling Ken onto his lap. Ken doesn’t protest, instead, he leans on Jun’s chest comfortably. Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s hair. “Ken misses Papa?” he asked.

Ken nods weakly. “I don’t know if I should believe you say Papa still alive. I never met him even once.” Ken admits in small voice.

Jun closes his eyes listening to Ken’s broken voice saying that. He pulls Ken closer to his chest, drawing his arms around the small body. “Kento-kun,” he calls. Ken doesn’t react in his embrace. “Kento,” Jun calls for his attention again. Jun buries his face in Ken’s neck, tightening his embrace. “I’m sorry okay? Honestly even I don’t know if Papa is still alive or not.” Saying those words leaves a pang of guilt in his heart. Ken lives fatherless for 5 years and he never does anything to fix that. He knows how hard it was to live without parents, he lived it for years in the facility, all he had were the caretakers in the facility and Sho’s parents after he met him in his junior high. He knows he’s being unfair with Ken but he can’t bring himself to find another man to replace Sho no matter how long it will take for him to wait for Sho’s come back. He doesn’t know indeed, if Sho is actually still alive or not. He had never heard from him since he left, but he would like to hold on to the believes that Sho _will_ come back. He insists that Sho will return to him again that’s why he is leaving that empty space in his heart until who knows when or at least until he is sure that he will never be able to meet Sho again. But before that time comes, he will never open his heart to anyone. That’s what he had sworn back then, and he intends to keep that promise still.

The problem now is Ken. What should he tell Ken? What should he do so that Ken would understand him? Ken is just a boy, no way he will understand these complicated things. Jun knows he is being selfish but hasn’t he always been like that?

Ken turns his head to look at Jun. Jun let go of his embrace so Ken can move freely. Ken stares in his eyes again. Ken has the facial of Sho. His face is the exact copy of Sho saved for his eyes. Only Ken’s eyes copying Jun. “Don’t you feel lonely?” Ken asks directly.

Jun was taken aback by the question and a bit confused.

“Why don’t you want to find Papa’s replacement? You never know if he will come back or not, right? Why would you wait so long for his return?” Ken asks confusedly.

“I don’t want to find replacement. I love him. I.. I..can’t..” Jun stutters.

“Why you can’t?” Ken asks again. His face is utterly confused. This time he turns around completely to look at Jun face to face.

“Because I love your Papa. I don’t want anyone else except him.” Jun tries to explain. He tucks Ken’s hair that falls on his face behind his ear.

“Even after Papa left you?”

Jun nods firmly without breaking the eye contact they had. He hated the way Ken was phrasing it. Sho didn’t leave him, he wanted to say, but the fact says just that.

“You won’t find anybody else even if I ask you to?”

Jun frowns. He doesn’t understand his son. What is it that he actually wants to know? He shakes his head nonetheless, answering Ken’s question guiltily.

“Good.” Ken states, “because I don’t want anybody else except _my_ Papa too.”

Jun was dumbstruck with the answer. So Ken is also waiting for Sho? He can’t help tearing up at that thought. He draws Ken closer to his chest again and buries his face on Ken’s shoulder. He whispers a soft thank you while rubbing Ken’s back up and down.

Ken snakes his hands around Jun’s neck and hide his face there. “I love you, Daddy.” Ken whispers, resulting Jun to close his eyes and heave a relief sigh silently.

“I love you too my baby.” Jun whispers back. He rocks both of them back and forth, smiling contently. Ken giggles in his shoulders, and Jun felt soft kisses from a pair of lips in his neck. He can’t help but squirming, making Ken laughs. He is ticklish after all. Jun tempted to get revenge by tickling Ken’s side but refrained from doing so, instead, he pulls Ken away from his embrace and let him finish his abandoned paper crane.

“Don’t you feel sleepy?” Jun asks after a while.

“Not really. But I’m a bit tired.” Ken complains.

“Let’s sleep?” Jun asks, suggesting.

“Un, okay” Ken answers.

Jun accompanies Ken into his room and asks him to brush his teeth first before sleeping. He prepares Ken’s bed, as usual while Ken finishes his business in the washroom. After Jun tucks Ken under the blanket, he sits at the bedside, hand playing with Ken’s hair again, smoothing the locks. Ken was about to fall asleep when Jun remembers something important and he wakes the boy again by calling his name.

“Un?” Ken stares at Jun questioningly.

“Daddy has some work to finish tomorrow in the office. Do you want to come along?”

Ken doesn’t answer immediately. He looks at Jun hesitantly. “Is that okay? I don’t want to disturb Daddy working.” Ken asks for confirmation. He doesn’t want to disturb Jun while Jun is working but if he doesn’t come along, he will be alone at home.

“Of course, sweetheart. It’s weekend, not many people will be there. And I don’t want to leave you alone at home.” Jun answers convincingly.

“If that so, I will.” Ken confirms, yawning afterwards.

“Okay, sleep now. We need to wake up early tomorrow, okay?” Jun smooths Ken’s blanket neatly again.

“Okay, Daddy, good night. I love you.”

“Good night, baby. I love you too.” Jun kisses Ken for the last time before he switches off the lamp. Once he is confirmed Ken has fall asleep, he walks back to his own bedroom.

***

Sho went dinner at his parents’ place that night. His mother called asking him to go back home, Sho doesn’t have the heart to disobey her. It has been a week since his return but he never once step into the house again. He didn’t stay the night though, as it was too suffocating for him to be in the house. Memories of him and his sister and Jun swimming in his mind while they were eating. It kills him inside. He really was not ready for this yet. Sulking with his parents was one thing, but to live in the place where once was so lively but not now anymore, he just can’t.

He drives back to Aiba’s that night with a heavy feeling.

“You’re late. I thought you’re going to stay the night there?”

Sho just shakes his head weakly. He sits besides Aiba on the couch.

“Beer?”

Sho took the offered can with a soft thank you. He sips it slowly, savouring the bitter taste running down his throat. He put the can on the table and continues to sit there silently. Aiba seemed to understand his friend, as he also not saying a word. They watch the midnight news in silent before Aiba finally breaks the silent to excuse himself and return to his bedroom.

“Sho-chan,” he calls before walking away, “whenever you want to talk, I’m here, okay?”

After securing Sho’s answer which he gave a small nod, Aiba retreats to his room to call it a night.

***

Jun is still preparing their bentos when Ken finally comes to the kitchen.

“Good morning, sweetheart. Taken your shower?”

“Un!”

“Good boy. Sit there. Breakfast is ready. I’m packing the bentos.”

Ken sits on the chair as told. “Will we be long?” Ken asks while nibbling on the sandwich.

“I hope not. but I can’t promise.” Jun answers apologetically.

“Hmmm..” Ken pouts at Jun’s answer.

Jun walks to the table and put the food containers on it. “But I promise tomorrow you will have me for the whole day.” Jun replies convincingly, sitting on the chair next to Ken.

“Promise?” Ken shows his pinky finger which Jun linked with his.

“Promise.”

“Okay.” Satisfied with Jun’s answer they proceed to finish their breakfast before leaving.

Ken holds his water bottle while Jun locks the door. They walk hand in hand to the bus stop and wait there for a few minutes before the bus finally arrive. They take the sit near the exit.

“Daddy,” Ken calls.

“Hm?”

“Why don’t you want to buy a car?” Ken asks.

Jun doesn’t answer immediately. Ken doesn’t know about his past. Ken never asked and he never tell. But Ken’s question now connects directly to his past. The exact reason why he becomes an orphan. He doesn’t want to dwell, but he can’t forget it either. The past trauma, Sho. He sighs.

“I don’t have driving licence.” Jun finally spoke after minutes of silence.

“Why won’t you take one?” Ken keeps questioning. He wonders why. This is not the first time he wonders about that but he never has the courage to ask his Daddy. “You can afford it right?”

Indeed Jun can afford it. Not only the driving licence, he also affords to buy a car actually. But just the thought of him sitting in a car terrifies him. He had the car accident which killed both his parents when he was five, same age as Ken now. Since then he lived in the orphanage until he finished senior high school, he found a part time job and with the Sakurais’ help, he managed to rent his own apartment room during college days. It was also Sho who helped him overcome his trauma but now that Sho is no longer here, he never bothers to fight it again.

Another sigh leaves his lips. “I’m waiting for your Papa to drive me again.”

“Daddyy..” Ken whines.

Jun looks at Ken questioningly.

“You are not fair. Why you can see Papa but I can’t?” Ken pouts at his Daddy.

Jun smiles sweetly at the boy. He pulls Ken towards him and kisses his head. “We’ll see him together one day, ne?”

“Really?”

“Let’s pray together for that.”

Ken’s pout doesn’t disappear until they reach their stop. They walk to the buildings which mostly empty saves for few people who are like Jun, have work that need to be done before the deadline or people who like to work in the weekend just so they can work in peace without anyone bothering. Jun walks straight into his office while exchanging greetings with the people he knows on the way and after making sure Ken is comfortable in the room, Jun resumes his pending job until the afternoon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading and left kudos to this work. This is a repost fic. It has no ending yet. Probably will never have an end, someone didn't allow me to end this AU. I hope you guys can enjoy this fic. A bit of warning, I can be (a bit) cruel with the characters so I plead, please do not kill me even if I may kill anyone in this fic. Hehe..

**Chapter 5**

“Kazu,” Ohno calls his sleeping lover softly. He pushes Nino’s bangs that fell on his face. He looks so young with those bangs and bed hair.

Nino grunts at the disturbance. He is damn tired, he closed his café late last night as it is Saturday’s night, majority people are not working today so they go hang out with friends or family till late at night. And he needs to come to work at the afternoon too today. Well, morning actually but what’s the point of being the owner when he can’t have his own convenient time of clocking in and out. Nino didn’t even crack an eye when Ohno keeps smoothing his hair.

“I’m going out for a meeting. I’ve prepared breakfast. See you later at the café, okay?” Ohno tells. He knows Nino hears him even in his sleep.

“Un.” Nino answers curtly not even bothering to move. But when Ohno stands to leave he managed to catch his hand. “Kiss.” He demands.

Ohno chuckles at Nino’s childish request. He drops a kiss on Nino’s forehead, slaps his butt before walks out of the room.

***

_-I’m meeting with Ohno-san this morning. Will update you any progress of the job-_

Sho reads the message from his father in his phone. He is still lying on the bed, feeling lazy to get up and take shower. He hears sounds coming from the kitchen and living room, probably Aiba already awake and making breakfast. He yawns widely and buries himself under the blanket again. Not long after his phone vibrates again with a new message.

- _Good morning, Sakurai-san. As spoken, I want to confirm if our meeting this afternoon stands still ?_ -

A message from the housing agent. Sho feels like slapping his head on the pillow. He already forgotten about that. He has been looking around for an apartment for his permanent stay. At first, he thought of renting a single room only, but he changed his mind thinking having a nice and cozy place to return to after a tiring day at work doesn’t sound bad. And he can afford it. At last he chooses a five-room house, big and spacey and he doesn’t know what the hell is he going to do with those space. But, if he is going to live with someone that would be very convenient. Talking about living with someone, he knows who would be in ecstatic to have such spacey place as home. Sho sighs. Again about Jun. He really needs to sort out himself and get up.

He gets up and tidy the bed before taking his morning shower. After he has freshened up enough, he goes to the kitchen. He thought Masaki made a breakfast for them both but he was wrong. When he goes to the kitchen there’s nothing left for him on the table.

“I thought you’re making breakfast for me too?” Sho asks.

“I’m not your keeper. And you’re not invalid. You should learn how to survive by yourself.”

“Mean.”

“Now you know.” Aiba replies. He holds his laugh when he sees Sho rolling his eyes at his remark.

Sho pushes the button on the coffee maker to make himself a cup of coffee. He leans to the countertop while waiting for his cup to be filled in.

“Are you going somewhere today?” he asks Aiba

“No specific plan. But surely not staying home. You?”

“I’m going to see the house agent. I forgot we have the meeting this afternoon.”

“Eh?”

“Huh?”

“You found a place already? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sho smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, slipped my mind.”

“Idiot.”

“Usually it was you who was called like that.”

“I’ve improved then. Thanks.”

Sho snorts. This guy is suddenly being grumpy. What’s up with him? Sho throws a look at the backyard through the window. “I want to find Jun again.” He says out of the blue.

Aiba glances at Sho once. He continues eating like he doesn’t care what Sho has just told him. After a bite, “No one is stopping you now,” he continues munching. “Need help?” he offers.

Sho looks at his friend at the table. He thinks for a while before answering, “I’ll try by my own first.”

Aiba nods his head. “Okay. Just tell me when you need help.” He says after that. Aiba doesn’t force. He knows Sho is stubborn and he doesn’t like to get help without trying by himself first. He is competitive like that but what assures Aiba is that Sho knows his limit. Sho can admit his own limit that’s why he does not need to worry much about him.

***

“Daddy..” Ken calls a bit urgently.

“Hmm?” Jun doesn’t even lift his head to look at Ken.

“I’m cold.” Ken tells. He hugs himself and rubs his palms on both his arms, trying to warm up.

Jun looks up from the laptop’s screen and sees Ken trying to fight the cold. He curses internally for forgetting Ken’s sweater. He reaches out for the air conditioner remote and raises the temperature a bit to make it warmer. Then, he stands and grabs his coat on his swivel chair and goes to Ken who is already sitting hugging his knees on the couch. “Here,” he wraps the coat to Ken’s small form and hugs the boy slightly. “Sorry, I forgot your sweater.”

“Daddy not cold?” Ken asks, aware that his father also weak to coldness.

“I’m used to this temperature. I’m fine.” Jun assures. “Are you hungry?”

“Not yet. I want to eat with Daddy. Don’t want to eat alone.”

Jun kisses Ken softly, feeling so loved by his own son. “Just a little more, then I’ll reheat the food. Okay?”

“Hai!”

Jun returns to his table while Ken lies comfortably on the couch blanketed with his Daddy’s coat. It smells like a fresh lemon, making Ken sniffing it before taking his story book and starts reading again to kill the time. Half an hour later, Ken feels his stomach grumbles asking to be filled. He closes his book and sits up. He puts the book on the glass table and jumps down the couch and walks towards Jun.

Jun frowns reading the emails. It doesn’t make sense at all to him with all the ridiculous statement given by the other party. He is nearly lost his composure when he feels something tugging at his trousers. When he looks down he sees Ken pouting while looking at him pleadingly with his big eyes, fist clutching at his trousers.

“What’s wrong?” Jun asks, confused.

“I’m hungry and I want to pee.”

Thinking that he has had enough with all those ridiculous emails, he pushes the chair backwards with his legs and stands up. Ken looks so small and cute in his oversize coat making him smiles unconsciously. Jun grabs Ken’s shoulder and remove the coat from Ken’s body, leaving it on the single seater couch before guiding Ken to the door. He just noticed that with Ken’s height, he can’t reach the doorknob without any tools to stand on. Jun opens the door and steps out to the bathroom.

“Are you done, Ken?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Ken emerges from the stall.

“Wash your hands.”

Ken walks to the washbasin and tiptoes to reach for the tap. Jun lifts Ken a little to help the boy wash his hands in the sink. He reaches for the tissue paper and wipes Ken’s hand dry.

“Matsumoto-kun?” a voice calling out to him.

Jun stands straight and spins around to look at the owner of the voice. He stuns.

“Matsumoto-kun.. is it?” the man asks again when Jun doesn’t answer.

Jun seems too shock to make his voice work. He manages a weak nod, eyes still wide, not believing his eyes looking at the person standing in front of him that moment.

“Daddy,” Ken’s voice succeeds to snap Jun out of his trance when he calls Jun softly. Jun looks at Ken’s confused face before returning his attention to the man standing opposite him.

“Y-yes, S-Sakurai-san,” he answers in stutters. His instinctive action was pushing Ken slightly behind him, hiding him behind.

Sakurai-san also looks bewildered, not believing that he will see his son’s ex-boyfriend in the company he is working with now. He doesn’t know what to say or do and he notices the boy standing behind Jun. He chooses to not say anything, he just bows his head slightly and turns to wash his hand.

Jun mirrors Sakurai’s act, before exiting the gents with Ken in tow. To his another unlucky surprise, he bumps into Ohno-san just at the corner.

“Jun-kun?” Ohno asks in surprise. He doesn’t expect to see Jun in the office on Saturday.

“Uncle Satoshi!” Ken calls out happily.

“Hi, boy. Following your daddy to work today?”

“Un. Daddy said he has work to finish today. So tomorrow we can go out together.”  
  
“Is that so? That’s good, ne. Be a good boy today and don’t disturb your daddy working, alright?”

“Un! We want to eat lunch. Daddy’s room is so cold, and we forgot to bring my sweater.” Ken whines while acting like he is shivering.

“Poor boy.” Ohno pats Ken’s head before looking at Jun.

“Are you staying longer? I have meeting with a client today. Plan to go lunch now, wanna join?”

“It’s okay. We brought bento.” Jun refuses politely.

“Oh, okay then.”

A sound of a door closing making all three turns their heads towards the direction.

“Ah, Sakurai-san,” Ohno speaks first. “Jun, this is Sakurai-san, the client I talked about.” Ohno introduces. “Sakurai-san, this is Matsumoto Jun, one of my best architect in this company.”

They bow their heads respectively towards each other before Ohno-san gestures Jun to introduce Ken who is standing in between them two.

Jun grabs Ken’s shoulder a little tightly, “This is my son, Kento.” Jun doesn’t say Ken’s surname because he knows when Sakurai-san takes a good look at Ken’s face, he will know who that boy belongs to.

“Son?” Sakurai-san asks in surprise, taking steps to close their distance. “May I?” he asks Jun’s permission to hold Ken.

Jun lets go of Ken and push the boy a little at his back, asking him to go to Sakurai-san without saying it.

Ken takes a step forward and bows his head politely, “Good afternoon Sakurai-san, I’m Matsumoto Kento,” he introduced.

“Matsumoto?” Sakurai asks, kneeling to the boy to have a proper look at his face. When they were in the gents, he could not see Ken’s face clearly as he was hiding behind Jun, (or maybe Jun was hiding Ken from him) but now that he can take a proper look, he understands why. If Sakurai-san is surprised, he doesn’t show it. He glances at Jun who is pinning his attention at Ken’s back before speaking, “I see,” he says, “well, Kento-kun, nice to meet you. Will you join me and Ohno-san for lunch?”

Ken raises his head to look at his Daddy. Jun shakes his head slightly with a forced smile. Ken looks again at Sakurai-san and answers, “I’m sorry, Sakurai-san, I will eat lunch with Daddy. Thank you for asking.” He bows his head again.

All adult’s presence smiles at Ken’s words, including Jun who is suddenly feeling so relief at Ken’s answer. So young, yet so polite and mature.

“Aren’t you a good boy? Your daddy raises you good, Kento.” Sakurai praises and pats Ken’s head softly.

“Un!” Ken smiles, not at all realizing how his Daddy has gone stiff at his back.

“Well then, lets go. We still have a few things to discuss after lunch.” Ohno said, pulling all attentions to him.

“We should get going too,” Jun replies, pulling Ken to him again with a bit too much force than needed before walking back to his office.

“Matsumoto-k-san,” Sakurai calls, nearly slipped his words.

Jun stops his track and turns around.

“It’s nice to see you again.” He says and bows before walking towards the elevator.

Ohno looked at their interaction in confusion but doesn’t say anything.

Jun is stunned on his spot but quickly find his composure and walk with Ken back to his office.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jun closes the door to his office and click on the lock automatically. He was still shocked and startled to see his supposed to be father-in-law in the building, after years of silence, suddenly to see him face to face under this condition is too much for him to take. His hands are still trembling, and he nearly collapse to the floor with the amount of nerves wrecking his mind and body.

“Daddy?” Ken shakes Jun lightly to get his attention. “Daddy, are you okay?” he asked. He is scared looking at his daddy like that. Jun is frightened, Ken can sense it, but frightened to what, he does not know. And that scares him to not knowing what troubles his Daddy. “Daddy!?” he shakes again.

Jun leans on the door and slides down, sitting on the floor. He doesn’t look up to Ken, but blindly takes Ken’s hand that’s holding his and pull him onto him, making the boy falls abruptly on his chest. Jun circles his arms around Ken’s small form, gradually tightening his grip.

“Daddy?” Ken’s voice is muffled by his shirt, but Jun is not letting him go at all.

“A minute.”

They sit silently there, Jun is holding Ken close to his chest, feeling Ken’s solid form on top of him and reassures himself that Ken is there, safe and sound and with him. Jun doesn’t know what got into him but seeing Sakurai-san holding his son triggers something in Jun’s heart. What exactly that he was scared about he doesn’t know, but he has that feeling that he can’t let just anyone touch his son. Not at any cost! ‘What was that for?!’ Jun doesn’t realize his hold around Ken becomes tighter until Ken speaks up.

“Daddy?” Ken circles his arms around Jun’s torso. “I’m here.” He reassures. He can hear Jun’s frantic heartbeat and Jun’s arms around him is like a punishing grip. He knows that Jun is not really there with him. Whatever happened to his Daddy after their small encounter with the uncles just now Ken doesn’t understand, but he knows when Jun is in deep worry. And he doesn’t want Jun to be worry. Because he is there. He is there with his Daddy. They are together so there’s nothing to be scared of.

Jun on the other hand, listening to Ken’s words of “I’m here,” something knocks on his heart. Something clicks in his brain when he finally realizes what he was scared about. So that’s it? He is worry about that? Is he being stupid? Is his fears have basis? Ken is his son there’s no way he will let anyone take Ken from him. Not Sakurai-san, not even Sho himself! He will never allow that! There’s no way he would let anyone separate him from his son. If with Sakurai-san appearance now will bring Sho back... he doesn’t exactly sure what to do in he faces Sho in that moment.

“Ken,” Jun finally speaks. “Never leave me, okay?” he lets go of his hold and cups Ken’s face, staring deep into Ken’s eyes.

“Promise.” Ken shows his pinky finger to Jun which Jun takes his whole fist in his arms and brings Ken’s hands to his lips.

“Thank you.” He whispers on Ken’s temple before kissing him softly.

***

Sho finishes his meeting with the housing agent early and doesn’t know why he found himself standing alone in a park. He sees families having picnic under the trees, kids running around with their friends and siblings playing tag games and also people walking their dogs and play catch with them. He feels relax by watching the scenery in front of him and takes a sit on a bench, quite far from the other visitors. He plays with his phone, reading the news and scrolling the social medias, simply wasting time on his own at the park. He tries to find information about Jun in the medias, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter but it seems like Jun is not the kind who mingles in those too much. After some times he gives up and takes his leave.

He drives off absentmindedly, but again he found himself in an unexpected place – the facility Jun grows up after his parents’ death. He looks around, without greeting anyone, looking at the kids leaving there, reminding them of Jun from before. Teenage Jun, skinny and shy type, fierce on the appearance but very fragile at heart. He remembers the day when he finally decided to talk to Jun, Jun looks so tired and defeated, like he has had enough in his life. Guess where were they at that time? – the school roof. He doesn’t exactly sure what Jun intended to do at that time, but he was standing on the divider, leaning heavily on the fence, looking at the ground expressionless. Sho who was always takes his break on the rooftop – his favourite spot to read and have his lunch – saw him, and immediately pulled him off the fence.

“What the hell were you doing?!” he shouted directly at Jun’s face.

Jun glances at Sho but not answering him. He averted his gaze from Sho’s face and turned to walk away. But Sho, being hot-headed as he always had pulled Jun’s hands and effectively stopped Jun in his track.

“Hey, I’m asking you!”

“Why do you care?” Jun asked back, more like mumbling to himself.

Sho pulls Jun’s hand with a force making Jun turns to him again. Jun was still looking down, not even once lifted his head to show that he was angry or anything. Sho cups Jun’s face with both his palms, lifting his head, finally able to see Jun’s face properly. He nearly flinched looking at Jun’s lifeless eyes, he could see the dread, sadness, defeat, those eyes doesn’t have life in it and he wonders what happened. Black circles around the brown orbs and his face was so skinny Sho can feels every edges on the face.

“Your name?” Sho asked, voice soft.

“Jun.”

“Jun?” Sho called softly. Jun still doesn’t look into Sho’s eyes. “What happened?” his anger flew away when the question left his lips, sudden worry seeped into his heart. “What happened to you? What’s wrong? Were you bullied?” he kept asking, worry evident in every question.

Jun shook his head slowly, still not answering Sho’s question. Then however he found his face mashed on a fabric, a pair of strong hands holding him firm against a solid form, palms rubbing at his back up and down in gentle moves, soothing him in a way he longs it to be. His brain couldn’t process it, it tells him to push away the man hugging him that time but his body protested to do so. He couldn’t find the strength to push the man away, instead, he leans deeper onto the chest, surrenders to the comfort the other man offered. His mind tells him that he would regret this later but his heart said the opposite, too tired to fight anything and Jun thinks that if something going to happened to him that day, he wouldn’t even put up a fight.

Jun jerks upright, rousing from his sleep with hands on his chest. ‘What the hell was that?!’ his mind screamed at him. It’s the first time he dreams of his first day meeting with Sho. Jun pants heavily, trying to come down from the dreams with taking deep breaths. He notices his hands are shaking – his whole body is – and he is crying. He tries to wipe the tears off his face but more are coming that he sobs, sitting upright on the bed and surrenders to the tremors in his heart. He manages to calm down after sometime and lies on the bed again, trying to get rid of the dreams off his mind.

“S-Sho..” he has stop crying but still hiccupping, still trying to calm his racing heart. Jun lies on his side, hand clutching tightly to the necklace around his neck. “Help me..” he pleads in the dark.

***

“Jya, Ken. See you this afternoon, okay?”

“Un. Daddy?”

“Hai?”

“You okay? Why Daddy look so tired?”

Jun stares at Ken’s eyes deeply. He smiles nonetheless. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. Didn’t get good sleep last night.”

“Why so?”

Jun doesn’t answer instead pulls Ken into a hug while smiling affectionately. “Nothing, my dear. Be good at school today too, okay?”

“Okay.” Ken answers with a little pout before walking into the school compound. He turns to wave Jun goodbye and walks into the nursery once he sees his Daddy has walk away from the school ground.

“Sakurai Sho!”

Sho jerks, surprised at the sudden intrusion in his office. “What the hell Aiba-chan?!” he asks, annoyed. Dare his secretary to call him like that!

Unfortunately _Aiba-chan_ just laughs, not caring about his scowling boss in front of him.

“Your father asked me to pass this to you.” He puts the file in front of Sho.

“And he can’t deliver it to me by himself?” Sho takes the file, inspecting the content.

“He said he got stuff to do. He was hurrying outside. Oh! And, he invited you for dinner tonight.”

“Where?” Sho frowns.

Aiba tilts his head in question. “He didn’t mention it. Maybe you can ask him later?”

Sho sighs.

“Bye.” Aiba stands to leave the room.

“Thanks, Aiba!” Sho half shout to his secretary. He heard the reply of “No prob!” before the door closes completely.

Sho puts the file aside, thinking he will take a look later once he finished his current task at hand.

***

Jun just steps out of the building when a voice greeted him.

“Matsumoto-kun?”

Jun stops his track and turn around just to see Sakurai-san standing a few feet away from him.

Jun blinks a few times before he finds his composure again. “Sakurai-san, good afternoon.” He bows his head politely.

“Good afternoon. Out for lunch?”

Jun nods.

“Mind if I join you?”

Jun is torn between shaking and nodding. It would be impolite if he rejects the older man. No matter what had happen between them in the past, Jun still respects him.

“No, I won’t. I would like some company too.”

The smile Sakurai-san shows him is still the same from when Sho first introduces Jun to him. Heart-warming and a very welcoming smile.

They have their lunch at the nearby restaurant. Quite packed with other people since it’s lunch hour, nothing less expected.

“How have you been, Jun-kun?”

“Good. As you see.”

“I’m sorry for being invisible these past years.” Sakurai-san apologizes.

Jun shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. I was being silent too.”

“You have a son.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Jun stops his movement from scooping the rice into his spoon.

“Tell me honestly, Jun. He is Sho’s right?” Sakurai-san stares right into Jun’s eyes.

Jun stops eating completely. Sakurai-san does the same.

“Why are you asking me this suddenly? We met two days ago accidentally and now you’re barging to my company’s building and suddenly speaks about this. I don’t mean to be rude Sakurai-san, but what will you get by suddenly appearing before my eyes and ask about my son? By the way yes, Kento is your grandchild by blood but if you think you can ask for any rights as Kento’s grandfather now you know I won’t give in so easily.”

“Jun-kun, I don’t mean any of that. Not at all. Sorry if I offended you. I just want to see you that’s all. And to tell you that Sho is back in Japan.”

That catches Jun off guard.

“Sho is back?” He murmurs in disbelief.

Sakurai-san nods, smiling slightly at the man in front of him. “Sho is back. He doesn’t mention anything to me about you but I believe he has been looking for you again. I think he will be irritated that I’ve found you first before him.” Sakurai-san chuckles, joking lightly.

Jun eyes staring wide to the front, not really seeing the man in front of him or seems to be listening.

“Jun-kun,” Sakurai calls softly. “Jun-kun, be honest with me. Are you still waiting for Sho?”

Jun visibly tears up at the question. How can he not? Nobody has any ideas of how long he has been waiting for Sho or how he misses Sho. He managed a simple nod but doesn’t have any courage to speak. Who knows what will come out of his mouth after hearing the news?

“He is waiting for you too. He still loves you Jun-kun. He has your picture in a frame on his work desk. Do you want to see him?”

A tear escapes Jun’s eyes, unable to contain anymore.

Sakurai-san reaches for Jun’s hand across the table. “I’m sorry. It was our fault that you two separated for a long time. It’s time for you two to reunite again. Pardon for my rudeness Jun-kun.” He strokes Jun’s hand softly trying to calm the crying man. People inside the restaurant started to throws look at them but Sakurai-san doesn’t bother to care. His supposed to be son-in-law was caught in a whirl emotion and it was his fault. “I’ll talk to Sho tonight about you, I’m sure he will be happy to see you too.” The strokes stop once Jun able to put himself together again.

Jun excuses himself and goes to the washroom. Once deemed to be decent again he walks back to their table and finishes their lunches.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sho had just finished his lunch and was walking towards his car when he receives the message from his father asking him to have dinner at home tonight. He said that he has a very important matter to talk to him but didn’t mention it in the message. Sho frowns. ‘What so important?’ he questions doubtfully. He hesitates to give his answer but thinking that it won’t hurt to accept a dinner’s offer. He is about to write the reply when suddenly he hears voices screaming in panic. He looks towards the direction of the voices and saw a boy standing in the middle of the road and a car coming straight into his direction, honking desperately to the boy alarming him to move aside! Sho moves in automation, his blood rush with adrenaline, he runs towards the boy, grabbing him harshly and rolls to the side of the road, protecting the boy in his arms and chest. The driver steers his car to the side avoiding them two, resulting him crashing to the metal divider and stops just there. Sho hisses in pain when his head hits the road. For a moment he sees black but he manages to focus back to his senses. He sees the car at the other side of the road before he turns his focus to the boy in his arms.

“Boy?” Sho feels the small body in his arms trembling slightly, the boy’s arms clutching at his chest desperately.

“Hey, are you guys okay?” Sho hears a voice asking and he looks up. Sho sees the driver limping towards them with a bloody temple. Sho managed a weak nod before focusing on the boy again.

People has started gathering around them making a crowd and asking for their condition. He hears a scream of ‘ambulance’ but pay no attention to those. He is more worry about the boy in his hold.

“Boy?” Sho calls again trying to get the boy’s attention.

“..’ddy..”

“Hmm?”

“Daddy..” the boy stutters before crying, the hands on Sho’s chest is fisting the cloth stronger and the boy’s breathings are coming out in short gasps, Sho knows that the boy is panicking.

“Shh.. shh.. It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay. We’ll go to the hospital first, okay?” Sho rubs the boy’s back up and down trying to soothe his nerves. And then somebody shouts telling them that the ambulance has arrived but when Sho moves to stand up, the boy tightens his grip around him. Sho sits down again. “It’s okay my dear, I’ll go with you,” he soothes. Sho doesn’t let go of the boy. He carries him to the ambulance and hops into it. He sits there holding the boy in his laps during the entire ride, caressing the boy’s hair and back softly while whispering comforting words in the boy’s ear. The trembles has subsided, but he is still hiccupping silently in Sho’s chest. All the time he doesn’t let go of his grip on Sho’s form.

***

They were brought into the treatment room immediately. The doctor confirmed that the boy has no serious injuries saves for some scratches on his arms and legs so the doctor leaves the boy to the nurses on duty for his treatment. Meanwhile Sho was asked to do the CT scan since he hit his head on the road. Once the doctor confirmed that there’s nothing to be worried about, they were both discharged immediately two hours later.

They sit together at the lobby, waiting for the boy’s guardian to pick him up. The boy seemed to have tell the nurse his details and emergency contact after he is done with his treatment and they are just waiting there until the boy’s dad – not a father, Sho noticed – come to take his son home. Though the boy looks fine overall, sitting close to him, Sho can see that he is still slightly trembling. And he never once lifts his head to see anything in front of him. Sho guesses that he is still traumatized with what he had just experienced.

“Hey,” Sho calls softly. He sees the boy a bit startle at being addressed. “What’s your name?” he asks.

The boy doesn’t answer immediately, he fidgets in his seat, before murmuring “Ken” without looking up, hands playing with the loose thread on his sleeve.

“Ken-kun?”

“Kento.”

“Kento-kun?”

The boy nods.

Sho spreads out his palm and show it to Kento. “I’m Sho.”

Kento finally looks up and look at Sho. Sho gasp unintentionally upon seeing Kento’s face. He feels like he is looking into a mirror, where the reflection shows the younger image of him with different eyes. And those eyes, two deep pools of warmth and gentleness, the eyes he would recognize anywhere.

_Jun._

Sho finds himself in a trance, unable to move or even averting his eyes from Ken’s face. He doesn’t even react when Kento calls his name.

“Your name?” Sho finds himself asking the question again. Somehow he feels detach from the present.

Kento blinks, confuse. “Kento. Matsumoto Kento.” This time Kento gives his full name.

“Matsumoto Jun?” Sho asks, more to himself, but Kento still heard it.

Kento frowns before nodding hesitantly. “Nii-san knew my Daddy?” Kento asks. He is no longer shaking, instead, posture stiff, curious with the man beside him now.

“I did. Still do.” The last sentence was spoken in whisper. 

Kento is about to speak again but a panic voice interrupts, calling out to him.

Kento turns his head automatically to the voice and sees Jun. “Daddy. _Daddy!!_ ” Kento shouts back, jumping from his sit and runs towards Jun.

Jun turns his head towards Ken’s voice and sees him jumping from the chair and running to him. He catches him in his arms, hugging him tightly, feeling so relief and grateful to see his boy safe and sound.

“You okay?” Jun asks after a few moments, loosening his hug to look properly at Ken.

“I’m okay. Sho-niisan saved me.”

“Sho-niisan?”

“Un! Sho-niisan knows Daddy!” Ken tells excitedly.

Jun stared at Ken in disbelieve. He heard his heartbeat thumping furiously, so loud that he suspects even Ken can hear it. “Where is he?” he asks in equal disbelieve.

“Over there.”

Ken points to the seat where Sho is sitting so stiffly watching the two of them conversing. Sho is battling with himself either he should or should not walk to them. He has been looking for Jun, but not sure if this is the kind of situation he would like to see Jun again. ‘What?’

He sees Jun stands up and walk to him with Ken in tow. Jun is frowning but he can’t exactly tell why. What Jun is thinking right now seeing him there. He stands up when Jun is close enough and bows to him.

“Thank you.” The words come out sound a bit force, but Sho bows nonetheless. Both of them are too shock to react properly with the unexpected meeting and both fall into silence afterwards. The atmosphere is too awkward and tense that Ken too is too confuse with what is happening between the two adults.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Sho finally speaks, but not lifting his head to look at Jun. Both of them are not looking to each other. “Jun.”

“Same here.” Jun’s voice sounds hoarse. He clears his throat before saying the next word. “Sho.”

Jun grabs Ken’s fist tighter. It’s too much for today. He just went lunch with Sho’s father and talk about him and here he is now, standing right before the said man. How should he react to that?!

“Thank you for saving Ken. We will leave now.” Jun said in hurry before turning around to leave but before he even managed to take the first step, Sho grabs his hand.

Jun turns to look at Sho.

“We’ll see each other again.” Sho said in determination. “I’ll find you again.” He firms, squeezing Jun’s hand.

Jun nods and Sho lets go of Jun’s hand after that. Jun turns and walks again, this time without turning back. ‘We will see each other again. Once we find each other again.’ With that thought in mind, Jun leaves the building with Ken and hails a cab. Ken doesn’t speak a word until they are safe in the cab.

***

“Daddy? Who is that onii-san?”

Jun doesn’t answer immediately. He keeps caressing Ken’s head softly, pulling the boy a bit closer to him in the taxi.

“Someone.”

Ken stares at Jun expressionless. Jun can’t make up Ken’s expression, Ken just look at him with his big, expressive eyes but currently, those eyes are not telling Jun anything that’s in his mind. Jun blinks.

“Have you eaten?” he changes the subject.

Ken shakes his head and leans deeper to Jun’s side, hiding.

Jun hugs the boy and kisses his head, enjoying the warmth of Ken’s body in his arm. “What do you want to eat?”

“Daddy’s cooking.”

“Okay. Let’s go straight home.”

Ken doesn’t let go of Jun’s hands since in the taxi. When they got into the house, Jun sits Ken on the couch in the leaving room, took Ken’s school bag and put it aside. “You okay?” Jun finally asks. Ken was nearly hit by car, for sure he is still in shock somehow.

Ken nods answering Jun’s question.

“Change your clothes and try to get some sleep? I’ll cook something. Or do you want to eat first?”

Ken shakes his head but suddenly wraps his arms around Jun. He buries his face in Jun’s stomach.

Jun feels the slight tremble in Ken’s body and pulls him closer to him. He makes Ken sits on his lap, face hidden in his chest. He holds Ken close, rubbing his back up and down trying to soothe his son. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Ken. I’m here.” Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s head, not once stops caressing his back.

“Don’t leave me, Daddy.” Ken pleads in small voice.

“I will not, sweetheart. I’m here, see?” Jun soothe, already feeling the wetness seeping through his shirt. “I’m here.” He kisses Ken again, this time longer, and tightens his hold around Ken. “Let’s take a short shower, ne? You’re still in shock. Warm water will help you to calm down.” Jun persuades slowly.

They sit there hugging for a little while longer until Ken moves, pulling himself away from Jun. Jun brings Ken to his room and undresses him. He takes Ken to the bathroom and bathes him. His movements are gentle, all the while saying soft soothing words to Ken and help him to calm down from his shock. Jun dresses Ken with new, fresh clothes and brings the boy to the kitchen afterwards, making him a cup of warm tea and let Ken drinks. Then he cooks with Ken sitting silently in the kitchen, watching him preparing the meals.

“Daddy..”

“Hmm?”

“Daddy don’t have work this afternoon?”

Jun glances at Ken before answering with a smile, “No. I leave immediately after I got the call from the hospital. Told Ohno-san I take emergency leave for the afternoon. ”

“I’m sorry.”

Jun looks at Ken who is staring down at his lap. “Why are you sorry?”

“I troubled you.”

Jun stops stirring the soup in the pot and walks towards Ken. He sits on the chair besides his son and pulls Ken to face him. He touches Ken’s cheek. “Kento,” he starts softly, “remember this. You will never ever trouble Daddy. You are my one and only precious treasure I have and I’m not trading you with anything. _Anything_ , you hear me? If you are in trouble, then I am in trouble too. Because you are too precious for me to take anything lightly about you, do you know that?” he stares deep into Ken’s eyes, searching for his understanding. “I will go to the end of the world just to keep you safe, understand?” Jun lifts his other hand to cup Ken’s cheek. “Understand?” He asks again when Ken doesn’t give the answer.

“Un.” Ken answered and nodded.

Jun presents him with a smile before pulling him to his body again. He kisses Ken softly. “Don’t worry or feel scared because I’m here, okay? I’ll always be here with you.” Jun promises.

“Okay.” Ken whispers in the hug and wraps his arms around Jun. He is still in shock and scared with the accident just now. It will take a while for him recover again.

Jun rubs his palm once at Ken’s back before pulling away. “I’m finishing the soup. Wait here a little while more, okay?”

“Un!” Ken answers and smiles happily. He rubs his eyes, erasing the remnants of tears on his cheek and looks brightly at Jun.

Jun chuckles and leans forward to kiss both of Ken’s cheek before getting up and finish his abandoned soup on the stove.

***


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Sho nearly forgets about his father’s invitation for the dinner. He saw the message again when he wants to text Aiba to take his car at the parking lot near the restaurant. He excused himself for the afternoon and goes back to his – Aiba’s (he really needs to move out fast so he won’t trouble his friend anymore) – apartment, and calm his nerves for the rest of the day.

He met Jun –Jun and his son which he doubts is _his_ son – and he can’t stop thinking about them now. He tells his father that he won’t make it tonight as he has some urgent matters and postpone it to the next day. Glad that his father is okay.

When Aiba got back from work, he is surprised to see Sho’s bandaged head and immediately asks what happened. Sho tells him that he got in an accident trying to save a boy ( _his_ boy, Sho keeps repeating it in his head) and that he hit his head on the road. Nothing serious he tells Aiba but that guy got seriously worried anyway and asks him to take leave tomorrow. Sho dismissed Aiba’s worry and says that he is fine, nothing so serious, but he doesn’t tell Aiba about Jun or Kento. He would rather keep that to himself first until he gets to properly talk to Jun again. He promised Jun that he will find him again but he doesn’t know how to.

“Aiba-chan,”

“What’s wrong?” Aiba looks at his friend worriedly. They are having dinner, Aiba orders take out as he is not in mood to cook that night.

“I need your help.” Sho answers vaguely.

“Hmm? What is it?”

“I want to move out.”

“Oh? You got a place already?”

“Un. Already confirm everything with my agent. I’ll get the key by next month the latest. So..”

“Okay, I got it. I’ll help you. I think your stuffs are not that much in that room.”

Sho just scratch his head looking sheepish.

Aiba rolls his eyes at his friend’s silly grin.

***

Sho knocks the door to his father’s office.

“Come in.”

Sho enters and walks towards the desk.

“You are.. What happened to your head?!” Sakurai-san stops his sentence midway, shock to see Sho’s bandaged head.

Sho clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Nothing. Don’t shout.” He grumbles.

“You had an accident? That’s your urgent matter yesterday?” His father keeps asking.

“Nothing serious, father. So? I’ve finalize this. Think should be okay to proceed. You want me to start meeting with Ohno-san after this?” Sho asks directly, straight forward to his intention of coming to his father’s office.

“Yes. I wanted to ask you that. You’re fast to finish finalizing the file.” Sakurai-san looks at his son blankly. He gestures Sho to sit on the chair in front of him. “You really okay? That looks awful.” He comments.

“I’m fine, really. Just a little scratch. Thank you for being concern anyway.”

This time it’s his father’s turn to click his tongue. “Don’t take me lightly, will you? Little scratch doesn’t need your whole head to be bandaged like that. If you don’t feel fine just go home and rest. Don’t push yourself too much.” He instructs.

Sho smiles listening to his father’s rant. “I will, don’t worry. But I really feel fine now. So it’s okay. You know, it’s weird to have you fuss over me now when you should have done that when I was younger.” Sho comments relentlessly.

His father just smiles awkwardly. It really is weird but he chooses to not say anything. “So? Will you come tonight? I bet your Mom will be shock and furious too if she sees you like this. And straight away asks you to come home again.”

Sho scratches his head thinking. “Hmm.. I’ll see how.” He can’t give his answer right away. His father is right, his Mom will be worried sick if she sees him like this.

“Are you busy?”

Sho looks at his father, confused with the sudden question. “Not really.”

“I have something important to talk with you. That’s why I asked you to come for dinner. But actually the dinner is unnecessary if you have some time to spend and talk?”

Sho sits straighter on the chair listening intently to his father.

“It’s about Jun.” His father continues.

Sho’s heart pounding loudly in his chest. “What about him?”

“I met him yesterday. And last Saturday.”

Sho frowns. He doesn’t expect that. “Did you see him regularly?” He asks.

“No. A complete coincidence when I was having the meeting with Ohno-san last Saturday. He works there. One of Ohno’s architect.” His father explains.

Sho raises an eyebrow at that. Jun works with Ohno. His father asked him to take over the project with the Ohno group. Concidence or planned? He doesn’t voice out the questions though.

“I didn’t know he works there if that’s what you’re wondering about now. It’s a complete coincidence. When I asked you to take over the project, I didn’t know about him working there at all. And, the architect working in this project is not him.” His father continues. “I see his picture on your desk.” he pauses and looks straight into Sho’s eyes who is also staring at him. “Do you still love him?”

Sho snorts unintendedly. He averts his gaze to the side. “You think?”

“I talked to him yesterday.” Sakurai-san pulls out a card from his drawer and pushes it to Sho. “I manage to ask for his contact number. I promised him I’ll keep in touch. Don’t you want to?” he asks softly, eyes warm looking at his son in front of him.

Sho blinks before taking the card on the desk.

“Talk to him Sho. I know what happened between you two was my fault. Sorry will not bring anything to the both of you. I believe he has a lot to tell you and you also the same. Text him, call him. See him. Tell him you got his contact number from me. He knows. He knows I want you two to talk to each other again. Find him again, Sho.” And, “I’m sorry.” The last sentence he said it in whisper. He sincerely wants to apologize to the both of them and he hopes that that is enough for them two to forgive him. He doesn’t feeling too hopeful though.

Sho keeps quiet even after his father finish talking. He doesn’t know. He is confused. Suddenly all things come out to him so easily. He doesn’t know how to make that up to. He takes the card and keeps it in his wallet. Then he stands, and bows deeply to his father. “Thank you.” He says it in full sincerities. His voice cracks, but he manages to cover it.

Sakurai-san stands and walks to Sho. He hugs him. “Thank _you_.”

Sho wraps his arms around his father’s shoulders and bites his lips to prevent himself from crying. He is not a baby, damn it! But being hug by his own father feels so comforting. He has forgotten the feeling of affection given by his parents. And today he gets that back.

Sakurai-san rubs Sho’s back soothingly, trying to comfort his trembling son. He knows how much Sho loves Jun and he still did what he did five years ago. He can’t amend what’s done but he hopes the two of them will find each other again. He has done his part, now it’s their turn to do the next. Sakurai-san hopes for the best for the two young men.

Sho pulls away after a minute. He excuses himself to return to his office. “I’ll come by tonight.” He confirms, and the smile his father shows him makes him feel so much at ease. It feels like a rock has been lifted from his back, and he is much more relax now. He will do this right. ‘Wait, Jun. I’m returning to you.’ With those thought in mind, he returns to his office, a bright smile decorating his face and some staffs already murmuring about his good mood that day.

***

“Daddy..”

“Yes, baby?”

Ken walks to Jun and climbs on his lap. “I’m cold.” Ken snuggles to Jun’s chest, snaking his arms around Jun’s middle.

Jun hugs the boy on his lap, palm brushing over his head and forehead, and he frowns. “You are warm.” He states. “How are you feeling?” he finds himself asking even though Ken just told him that he is cold.

“Cold.” Ken said to his chest.

Ken is wearing his jacket so it’s weird that he said he is cold. But his face is indeed warm. Jun glances at the clock across the room. He has another hour before he can end his work hour. He takes half-day also today. He doesn’t send Ken to the nursery today, not so fast after the shock Ken had yesterday. And he plans to keep Ken company today too that’s why he takes half-day working today. He brought Ken to the office because he can’t let Ken be on his own at home. But apparently Ken is running a cold.

“Just a little bit more. Patient ne, dear?” Jun said to his son. He caresses Ken’s back softly.

“Un.”

Jun feels Ken shivers in his hold. He takes off his jacket and wraps it around his son. He adjusts his position on the chair so he can cradle Ken more comfortably on his seat. Ken leans deeper to Jun’s chest before letting out a sigh. Jun can’t concentrate on his job. He is worry about Ken’s condition right now but he tries to finish what he can.

By the time he finished, Ken is already sleeping soundly on his lap. He moves slowly, trying not to disturb his sleeping son when he puts Ken on the couch, lying him there. Jun switches off his laptop, keep it in his bag and is about to wake Ken up when his phone vibrates with a message.

- _Hi Jun. This is Sho. Father gave me your number. Are you free right now? Think we can have lunch together?_ -

Jun’s hand trembles slightly upon reading the message. ‘Why so fast Sho-kun?’ he frowns in annoyance.

- _Sorry, I can’t today. Ken is not feeling well. We are going back home._ -

Not a minute after he sends the message, his phone vibrates with a call.

“Yes?” Jun answers, a bit annoyed.

“ _Hi. Are you in the office?_ ”

“Un. We are going back now. Sorry Sho I really can’t now.”

“ _Where are you going? To the clinic or home? Do you need a ride? I’m near your office building now._ ”

Of course Sakurai-san needs to tell Sho where Jun is working. He declines anyway.

“It’s okay, I can take the cab.”

Just after he said that, Ken whines in his sleep. He jerks up awake with a cough.

“Sweetheart?” Jun rubs Ken’s back soothingly.

“ _Jun?_ ”

Jun returns to talk in his phone. “Sorry Sho,”

“I’m at the entrance door already. See me at the lift lobby.” Sho cuts in before Jun even get chance to speak.

“Eh?”

“I’ll wait here. Just come down.”

Another cough breaks from Ken and he starts sneezing. “Daddy..” Ken whines pitifully. He is on the verge of tears because he has started to feel uncomfortable.

“See you downstairs.” Jun says before ending the call. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go back home.” Jun picks Ken up and carries him to the lift and pushes the ground floor button. He sees Sho straightaway as the man is standing right in front of the lift Jun rides.

“Hey,” Sho greets, hand coming up to touch Ken’s tear-stricken face. He winces at the heat radiated to his palm. He takes Jun’s briefcase and show him the way to his car. He puts Jun’s briefcase in the trunk and gets to the driver seat. Jun is already sitting at the passenger seat with Ken. “We’ll go to the hospital first. I’m afraid if Kento gets infection because of yesterday.”

“But Ken didn’t injure himself yesterday.” Jun protests.

“ _Jun._ ”

Jun shrinks at this seat and hugs Ken tighter. “Okay.” He relents.

Sho drives away to the hospital immediately.

***


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Ken looks so pale.

“You sure he just has a cold? He looks so pale.” Sho asks, frowning.

“I don’t know..” Jun murmurs worriedly. Ken has his eyes shut, but he is not sleeping. Short breaths coming out from his mouth, and he is frowning.

“..’ddy..”

Sho parks his car and turns off the engine. He gets out, walks to Jun’s side and opens the door for him.

Jun gets out with Ken in his arms, walking to the hospital entrance. He lets Sho helps him to register Ken, and after a few minutes, they were called into the treatment room.

Sho is hesitant to come in together but Jun doesn’t say anything nor he stops Sho from coming. Sho comes into the room with them.

“Your boy is dehydrated.” The doctor said without checking much on Ken.

“Eh?” Jun is dumbfounded.

“Is it serious?” Sho asks.

The doctor just smiles to them both. “No. But I need to infuse saline into him. He is weak, better let him sleep while we infuse the saline into his body. His energy will return after that.”

Jun nods in understanding. He doesn’t refuse anything as long as his baby will get better again. The doctor calls the nurse in charge and asks her to prepare the equipment needed for Ken to have his infusion. Ken is brought to the other room where the nurse prepares the needle to connect the line to the back of Ken’s hand. Ken whimpers when he sees the needle. Jun walks to Ken and whispers comforting words in Ken’s ear.

“You are a brave boy, ne? Don’t worry, Daddy is here.” Jun kisses Ken’s temple. He feels relief when Ken sags in his arm. Jun takes Ken’s other hand and caresses it softly. Not long after that Ken falls asleep, exhaustion takes over his body completely.

“It’ll take a while to finish a bag. 30 to 40 minutes. But since he is sleeping, we won’t wake him up right away after he finished. So maybe around an hour? You may wait here or you may wait outside.” The nurse tells Jun and Sho kindly.

Jun nods before focusing his attention again to Ken. Once the nurse leave, Sho walks to Jun’s side. He puts his hand on top of Jun’s who is still holding on Ken’s hand.

“He will be fine.” Sho assures.

Jun nods, but not speaking a single word, eyes still landing on Ken’s sleeping face.

“Let’s wait outside?” Sho suggest carefully.

For a few seconds Jun doesn’t move, but after that he pulls Ken’s hand and kisses it softly before doing the same on his forehead. “Just a few minutes ne, dear? I’ll come back later.” He caresses Ken’s hand once before exiting the room with Sho.

They sit at the waiting room together, Jun slumps tiredly on the chair.

Sho walks out, intend to buy coffee can for the both of them. Then he returns and hands Jun the black iced flavored coffee. Jun takes it gratefully.

They drink in silence, savouring the taste of their coffees. Jun is the first to break the heavy silence between them.

“I didn’t ask you yesterday, how are you?” Jun asks looking at Sho’s bandaged head.

“I’m fine, nothing serious.” Sho answers with a smile.

Jun averts his eyes to his lap. “Where have you been?”

Sho blinks, surprise with the sudden but not unexpected question. He tears his gaze away from Jun before answering, “Germany.”

Jun looks at Sho. “For?”

“Work. Mai.” His heart clenches when he remembers his sweet younger sister.

“Mai-chan? How is she?” Jun asks, turning his body to Sho with an excited expression on his face.

Sho looks down, hands unconsciously clenching the can. “She passed away.”

Jun’s excited expression falls, sad feeling creeps up in his heart.

“Her treatment failed. She was too weak, no any support equipments could help her anymore.” Sho explains further, biting his lips to prevent himself from crying.

“Was that why you left?” Jun ask again. He will pry today. He will get the answer today.

Sho nods.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You left without saying anything. I was lost..” Jun can’t finish his sentence. He is shock and feels a bit lost with the news.

“I don’t get the chance to. I was also lost at that time. I don’t know what I should or shouldn’t do. Father asked me to go to Germany because the doctor said Mai will get better treatment there. And Father asked me to take care of the business there too. Our business was struggling at that time. It’s like hitting two birds with a stone. Mai got better treatment and I managed to convince our clients to keep their partnership with us there. As the results, our business got expanded in Europe, but it was unlucky that despite showing improvement in her health, Mai’s condition suddenly deteriorated, and finally her life was taken away.” Sho explains in a breath. He has been keeping that up to himself for too long.

“Sho..” Jun moves to hold Sho’s hand in his.

“When Mai died, I feel so lost. I don’t know what I should do. When I went to Germany, I left you. Never once I never thought of you. Mai knows how much I was suffering without you. She did her best, you know? She told me if she doesn’t get better there, then all my sacrifices will be in vain. We were forcedly separated and she knew how much I want to go back here, to return to you. But it failed.” Sho stops. “It failed. She was crying and nothing I said to her could convince her. She felt so guilty to me but it was not her fault. I just want the best for her.” Sho finally cries. This story, he never tells anyone, not even Aiba who was there during Mai’s funeral.

“Her last wish, she wants me to go back here and find you again. She wanted to apologize to you for all the troubles she had caused. But it wasn’t her fault. Nothing is her fault.” Jun puts the coffee can on the table and moves closer to Sho. “I’m sorry, Jun. I left you in the dark.” Sho stops again to take a breath. “When she died, I lost all my drives, my purposes. I was lost. Father asked me to come back here. He said that I had done enough. Mom and him are very grateful. But I would be lying if I say I don’t have any grudge against them. I want to find you again but I don’t know how have you been, if it’s right for me to find you again. And then we met by accident, and father told me that you are still here, still waiting even though I’ve left you all these years in pain and lost, I think I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I am selfish, Jun. I want you again, I need you. I have to find you again, I still love you..” Sho chokes in tears. “I’m so sorry..”

Jun is in no better condition than Sho though. He is crying too and he makes no effort to hide it at all. He takes a deep breath before starting to speak. “Uncle told me you are still waiting. He told me you have my picture on your desk in your office. I was scared, Sho. I don’t know how to make out the news. When Uncle told me that you’re back, I was happy, but also worry. What if you already have somebody else? Why are you back now? Where have you been these five years? I don’t hear anything from you since then or even from Uncle and Auntie. But suddenly Uncle appears again and tells me all these news. Sho, I love you. I still love you.” Jun cries, half pleading in his confession. He has a lot to tell Sho but he can’t make his brain and tongue cooperative. “If you still love me, please don’t leave me again.” That’s all he can make out now and Jun knows he is totally pleading, he covers his mouth with the back of his hand trying to prevent himself from bawling.

“Jun..” Sho rushes to Jun and pulls him fiercely to his chest. Jun sobs onto Sho’s shoulder, fingers fisting desperately to his chest. Sho hugs Jun tightly, lips grazing on Jun’s hair. “I’m so sorry, my love.” He murmurs. He tries to blink away his tears and gets his focus stays on Jun. Jun leans on Sho, leans on the warm and comfort Sho is offering after years of being deprived. They stay like that until Jun’s fist on Sho’s shirt loosening. Gradually he pulls himself away from Sho and wipes his tears with his palms. Sho takes Jun’s hands in his, stopping Jun’s movements. He kisses Jun’s knuckles before letting go and wipes Jun’s tears away before kissing both his eyelids. “I love you, Jun. I still love you. I never stop loving you.” Sho says in Jun’s ears. A stream of new tears escapes from Jun’s eyes but he makes no effort to wipe it away. He lets it out, and leans in again to Sho’s warm and strong body. Sho welcomes him openly, opening his arms to catch Jun again.

“Jun,” Sho calls softly. “I have my own assumption but I want to hear it from you.” He swallows. “Whose is Kento?”

Jun inhales deeply upon hearing the question before pulling himself away from Sho just to rest his forehead against Sho’s. He shuts his eyes and takes another deep breath before answering. “Yours.” He opens his eyes and stares right into Sho’s. “Ken is yours.”

Sho pulls Jun again against his body, embracing him tightly. He dips his face against Jun’s nape. “Thank you.” He lets a tear escapes. “Thank you, Jun.”

Jun returns the hug as strong as Sho’s. He feels so relief and it’s like he can feel the necklace resting on his chest is warming up too, celebrating the union of the two souls again.

***

When they re-enter the room, Ken is just starting to wake up. The nurse is detaching the needle from Ken’s hand and plastering a cotton ball at the wound. Jun walks quickly to Ken’s side.

When Ken finally opens his eyes, he sees Jun towering over him. He looks like he has been crying. “..’addy?”

“Yes, dear?” Jun answers with a smile, he brushes Ken’s bang to the back.

“..’m ‘ired.”

“Poor my boy,” Jun kisses Ken’s head softly, “we will go back home after this, okay? And you can rest properly.”

Ken nods weakly but not moving even a bit from the bed.

“Matsumoto-san?” the doctor calls. “I have prescribed the medicines for Ken for his fever. You may get it at the dispensary.”

Jun nods. “Thank you, doctor.”

The doctor walks to Ken and greets him. “Hello, Kento-kun? How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy.” Ken scrunches up his face.

The doctor helps Ken to sit up. “It’ll be gone quickly. But you still need to take the medicines for your fever, ne?”

“Un.”

Jun helps Ken coming down from the bed after the doctor leaves. Ken slips in his shoes and walks slowly beside Jun. “Dizzy, Daddy.” He whines.

Jun picks Ken up to his arms. They walk to the dispensary area, Jun sits with Ken on the chairs while Sho goes pick up Ken’s medicine. They walk to the car after that, Sho makes sure Jun and Ken are sitting comfortably at the back seat before he gets into the driver’s seat. “Type in your address, Jun.” Sho asks.

Jun types in his home address and let Sho drives them back to his house.

***

“The housekey is in my briefcase, please, Sho.”

Sho opens the car trunk and pulls out Jun’s briefcase. He searches for the key while Jun cradling Ken out of the car. Sho holds the door to let Jun enter with Ken in hands.

Jun heads directly to Ken’s room and puts the boy on the bed. He opens Ken’s shirt buttons and pulls the blanket to cover Ken’s body. Ken curls up to his side, hands hugging Jun’s knee that’s resting on the bed. Jun touches Ken’s forehead to feel his temperature. “It’s not that hot anymore.” Ken coughs and whimpers in his sleep.

“I’ll buy some food for us. I’ll come back later, okay?” Sho says to Jun.

“Will you stay?” Jun asks, hopeful.

Sho sits beside Jun on the bed and cups Jun face with his palm. “I’ll stay for the afternoon only. Tonight I can’t, cause I already promised Father to have dinner at home.”

Jun nods his head in understanding, he can’t be pushy can he?

The palm on his cheek is not retreating, it’s like the owner is waiting for Jun to say something. When Jun looks up, Sho’s face is very near to his, he is staring right into Jun’s eyes, expression hopeful.

“May I?”

Jun nods, and he feels Sho pulling him close and the gap between them vanish. The kiss is tender, he can feel the love that he longed before being poured into him without ending even after they end the kiss.

Sho is still touching Jun’s cheek after they pull away. “I’ll be back.” He whispers and kisses Jun’s cheek.

“Un.” Jun answers, but not letting go of Sho’s hand on his cheek. He leans to Sho’s touch, reluctant to let go.

Sho caresses Jun’s cheek softly, reluctant to let go too but they all will be really hungry if he doesn’t move now. Plus, Ken needs to eat. “Just a while, ne. I’ll be back. I love you.” Once the last sentence left his lips, Sho feels a strong urge in him to keep Jun close to him. He loves him. Period. He will definitely not let Jun go again after he has found him now.

“Okay, I’ll be waiting. I love you too.” Jun’s eyes sparks with hope and happiness. Sho swears he will not let that beautiful eyes covered in sadness again.

Sho stands and leaves the room, the house to get food for the three of them. He sends Aiba a message saying that he will not be back in the afternoon and that he will return to retrieve his bag and stuffs later in the afternoon. Then he messages his father telling that he will be absence from office in the afternoon - “taking care of Ken.” – his message reads. He gets the reply of two thumbs up and a question about the dinner that night. He confirms that he will come. And with that, Sho drives away to get the promised food.

***


End file.
